Mexico Jukatanas establishment of indigenous people, the fact that a woman is pregnant, totally safe to show her husband's nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomachache, and seizures. Tētus budding "drag" on the salt, and sexual activity, there are worrying changes in man. Obviously, these men strongly identify with women.
Clearly, these symptoms occur, not all prospective fathers, although many women first become pregnant expectations, no doubt, guidelines, and revaluation of the role of the exchange period. Father's role in understanding our society in recent years has greatly expanded that. Of the many men wives, even relatives and friends waiting, and even requires the direct participation in childbirth. Childbirth preparation classes they are trained in how physically and psychologically to help his wife in the process. They can assist his wife during childbirth and immediately initiate the first contact with the establishment of the newborn.
Fathers who participated in childbirth, says that they almost immediately felt the affection the child, an emotional lift, pride and bred in their own eyes. In a series of studies it was found that these fathers far more powerful stick our children and cares more about them than those who are not helped during childbirth or immediately thereafter. Common experiences strengthen their affection women. Those who have not participated in childbirth and the first time with the baby, often it seems that women more distanced, and even ignore them after the baby was born in the world. Although it sometimes happens that sometimes a sense of communion between husband and wife seriously weaken when the mother's center reaches a kid.
Many studies show that fathers who have kept the small arms immediately after birth, will continue to play more with his growing children and cares about them. The situation in which the father takes care of the baby has a positive impact on family development. According to one survey, babies whose fathers took an active part in their upbringing, showed higher results in physical and mental development. Another study found that those babies grow up much more responsive in the social field. Between spouses resulting from less "friction", frequently observed targets community and consensus decision-making, when they were both active in the child's upbringing. However, in assessing these data, we should remember that fathers, who from the beginning to participate actively seek contact with their children, probably also in many other relationships than those who do not seek to establish early contact with the child.
Young fathers who actively seek to participate in the spread of the baby, treatment for the newborn are different from mothers treatment. In most cases, fathers prefer to play with babies, but mothers typically bath pārģērbj and fed the children. Even the servicing of children, dad retains the style of play. Moreover, the same type of playing is different. Fathers tend to play more vigorously with the children - they leave babies in the air, rocking them with arms and legs, playing "horse". Mothers with small is more closely - talk softly, often imitating their sounds issued, šļupstēšanu. From the very young babies, seeing Dad, expects pleasure: "If dad is here, then rotaļāsimies!".
Fathers who have developed strong emotional bonds with the newborn is more sensitive to the changing needs and interests of the child, it increases. All in all, these tētiem have a greater impact on children. Children often listen to them and want to emulate them, thanks to the close, the extensive relationship between both.
In recent years the Latvian family labor is sufficiently widespread, about half of couples now accepts direct delivery model. But there are no small women who do not want her husband's presence in this process.
What then is the visible positions on the husband's participation in childbirth?
Typologically they can be summarized in four variants.
Option. 1
A woman believes that a man will see all the unpleasant side of childbirth - screams, blood, faeces, will see his wife not very attractive in appearance - vilsies "secret" and, perhaps even at another aizskries. - Well, in general, "as after all the beat" ...
Option. 2
- Why jātraumē his psyche? With whom did he help? To better myself - it will be quieter!
Option. 3
- If you love to be beside you. If not going with me to the birth - so yourself, however, loves more. Excellent opportunity to examine his feelings!
Option. 4
- Because we're together, we have a family to be living near both difficult and joyful moments.
This is a variant of the woman seems acceptable, in many ways depends on the two new parents' personal maturity as well as male and female in the relationship between the quality level.
The successful delivery of family security is a mutually accepted decision. If one of the prospective parents have the slightest doubt, the better the idea of the presence of birth dad abeyance edge. Probably der ponder the following possibilities:
1st The new dad is nearly adjacent to the premises, but is present when the baby is barely saw daylight - first it takes hands to caress his wife. Such an option is good if the man known reasons, is not ready for full participation in childbirth, but really want something at least to support his wife and baby to see as soon as possible. Besides, this is the only possible option if the mother intended to Caesarean section or other operative intervention, in which the husband's presence during the operation but not really desirable.
2nd Man is present and helps his wife to go to the maternity room. Of course, this option is closer to real participation in childbirth than in the first case described in the passive waiting. The new mother receives substantial support not only their survival but also for purely practical matters - she can come up strong nausea attack, need to frequently visit the toilet, need to call your doctor. In all these actions, and not only a man can be invaluable assistant.
If the new mother wants her husband's very participation in childbirth, but he is they are completely indifferent, should not give up desire, "Well, and that you do not care, but nice to me." Such a passive male line will not give positive results at its birth to, nor the general psychological climate in the family.
There are several reasons why young parents choose a family birth. To mention a few of them:
1st Mothers fear before the birth. It comes rather than irrational, unjustified fears and fears, which tend to be specific to women who give birth for the first time. If women are afraid of what awaited her in the office, where she give birth, and she think her husband's presence will encourage greater confidence in themselves, can be safely offered to her husband to participate in childbirth.
2nd The desire to gain support. This is a conscious desire to give birth with her husband, as he will in time call your doctor, a massage, talk, keep PUD or to assist in proper breathing. Such variations are often seeks to realize the woman has given birth, for about how she imagines all the stages of man's potential and help each of them.
3rd Desire for a unique shared experience. If the family is not deep, unresolved conflicts, the two partners is the desire to go to the birth together, this event can become a unique, one of a family experience. In short, family-friendly original birth family can further strengthen family ties and create a wonderful emotional background.
The above reasons are adequate, and complete enough to decide to give birth together. But sometimes new parents that decision based on less secure footing, exposing the 'false grounds ". If the decision to participate in the birth family is based on "spurious" reasons, there is family conflict is a risk partners may be unhappy with each other and themselves during childbirth, as well as after.
What reasons should consider more seriously?
1st "Now, all it does!" Or follow-up rage. Yes, of course, ever increasing number of family births, but never said that directly to your pair, this is the optimal option. This decision should not adopt an enthusiastic friend says, or online forum, read in influence. Another's opinion does not become yours, it is the only thing your family.
2nd "Or, how interesting!". Curiosity is a typical reason for the male representative to participate in childbirth. As there is everything? It is interesting to look at my eyes! If a man run this intention, rather, he will not be able to provide full support. The more - impatient and curious man's behavior may even interfere with the medical work. I have to say though, that such behavior is rather characteristic of emotionally immature individuals with poorly expressed empathy (to survival) level.
3rd "Everything nokārtosies. This reason is inherent in women. The new mother lying in the family seems to plague all families panacea, even the common future, a happy heart. It's also possible that in this way a woman seeking her husband's attentiveness to his condition, called sympathy or even pity. All of these plans has already doomed to failure. Family labor may indeed strengthen the family, but only if it is deep, serious conflict. The maternity aid can not solve the problem. Baby's advent in the world should not be used as a manipulation tool for new fathers - the consequences can be devastating, even to family breakdown.
If the new parents really want to win, have considered all the for and against and have agreed on the birth family, it is necessary to prepare in time. A good mate has articles, books and lectures of young parents in schools. Utility is specially prepared films where you can see the birth process. If after all this man's desire to participate has not gone out, there is a strong likelihood that the family birth goes smoothly. Therefore, the new dad needs to learn certain principles, how to support his wife.
Husband during childbirth can be invaluable assistant - he can follow the contraction frequency, jointly take the necessary physical exercises to help correct breathing during contractions, massage lumbar and sacral areas, to provide psychological and emotional support as well as to report on the progress of childbirth. Of course, all this may be the case if the man has successfully mastered the necessary skills, and is not subject to the same concern, anxiety or panic, even in unexpected situations.
What if a new dad, however, does not want to participate in childbirth? First of all, should not worry and enjoy bitterness. No case to "impose" this issue should not be, because otherwise it can happen that will be present at birth rather than the man who helps, but irritated by an entity which does not understand, why did he have "atstiepts" here. Second, try to understand the cause of abandonment. It is possible that the new dad fears that interfere with physicians and generally do something that no man ... it may well be the holy convinced that childbirth is a purely female thing. Often, men are simply afraid - of blood from the birth process. And, after all, maybe he does not want to feel powerless in the face as close to a man in pain and agony, knowing that nothing there can not be done. Motives may be different, under the above expressions can reveal a deeper psychological problems, which recognize the non-qualified assistance is sometimes impossible.
I must say that if the new dad from the family refuses delivery, definitely would not stamp them with "selfish" or "zaķpastalas" stamp. And do not let it do it to others. The deliberate refusal from participation in childbirth does not make him automatically a bad father. If the new father of certain facts not affected by childbirth, and early establishment of contact with the newborn does not happen, it does not mean that he has less love my baby. Dad and will later be able to establish an emotionally close relationship with their pets, unless actively participate further in baby-rearing process.
Good luck!
Diane Schulze Palma
psychologist, group therapist
http://berni.calis.lv
(0) Comments
